Soul Switchin'
by JenJenJen13
Summary: Soul Edge's evil energy causes two very familiar Korean souls to switch bodies and the tranquility in one very familiar dojo to become a thing of the past. Rated for lots of appalling language and sexual innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

Nope, you know the drill, nothing related to the words "Soul Edge" or "Soul Calibur" belong to me. Bummer.

Uhh... this is just a quick little story I felt like doing. I know in Soul Calibur records there's nothing that says Soul Edge's power causes souls to swap bodies, but I am the author and I can do whatever I please. Haha.

Mostly Hwang/Mina but eventually turns to Yunsung/Mina, like everything I write eventually does. :) I've never played as Hwang before (Bonus character in SCIII is about it) so I'm not completely familiar with his character, so I might have made him a little OOC.

Keep in mind Yunsung is biased towards Hwang anyways, so his portrayal of Hwang is always going to be harsher than it should. ;)

Starts during Yunsung's ending in SCIII. After watching those endings I am convinced that if Hwang does not return in SCIV, Yunsung/Mina is gonna be the next Kilik/Xianghua. :D

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"Woohoo! We're almost home!" Mina cheered. "I can't wait to get home!" She jabbed the blunt end of her zanbatou into the small of her personal packmule's back. "Faster! Walk faster, wouldya?"

"Go to hell, Mina," Yunsung scowled. As punishment for running off with White Storm and forcing Mina to chase him around the continent, Yunsung was now being forced to carry all of Mina's crap back home to Korea, on his back. Aside from the fact that his limbs were sore, his body was bruised, and he had a wicked hangover thanks to the wine he stole from those Japanese pirates, Yunsung continued walking, grumbling in pain along the way.

"I can barely even carry this crap! How the hell did you lug it all the way after me?" Yunsung asked.

"Are you kidding? Before I tracked you down I went shopping!" Mina giggled. "Now step on it! I want to get home and take a nice hot bath!"

"Oh please," Yunsung scoffed. "You just wanna get home so you and Hwang can-- AAOW!" he yelped, when Mina's zanbatou clobbered him over his red head. "I hate you," he growled.

"Good. Then my work here is done," Mina said. "You know, Yunsung, you've been in a bad mood since we started heading home. You're just mad that I destroyed Soul Edge before you got to."

"That was some cheap shot, by the way," Yunsung scowled. "I do all the work, kick Nightmare and that creepy-ass skeleton thing's asses, then just as I'm about to smash that stupid sword you come along, knock me out and take all the glory. Then again this is YOU I'm talking about."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I saw you trying to grab Soul Edge, and I laughed when it shocked your ass. A punk-ass kid like you sure as hell can't wield the ultimate weapon."

"Why don't you take your zanbatou out of your ass?" Yunsung suggested, rolling his eyes.

Mina proceeded to hit him in the head again. "Ow! Stop doing that!" Yunsung complained. "And then you wonder why everyone in the dojo thinks you're a BITCH!"

"WHAT'D YOU SAY!?" Mina gasped. "They do not!"

"Oh yes they do! After you're done prancing around half-naked with that stupid zanbatou, you leave and everyone goes 'That Seung Mina's such a bitch, I feel bad for the guy who's gonna get forced to marry her!' Lucky for our asses Hwang came home and saved us from that horrifying fate-- OW! OW! OW! Cut it out!" Yunsung screamed, dropping the crap he was carrying to cover his head with his arms.

"All you dojo kids are exactly the same. They hit on me, I tell them to screw off, and they don't leave me alone," Mina said, rolling her eyes. "I see you're exactly the same way."

"Oh yeah? Exactly how many times have I hit on you?" Yunsung scoffed.

"At least a hundred times," Mina rolled her eyes. "And whenever I lean over you try and look up my skirt."

"You didn't let me finish. I meant how many times have I hit on you in the last ten minutes," Yunsung defended. "And can you blame us? We're a bunch of guys! We see a girl prancing around in-- well, whatever it is you're wearing-- and of course we're gonna look! And besides, all the guys who don't check you out get called fairies and weenies and other crap, so we don't really have a choice!"

"Oh please," Mina said. "Hwang doesn't do that, and nobody at the dojo thinks he's a weenie."

"Except for me," Yunsung scoffed. "Are you kidding me? That pretty boy bitch couldn't even FIND Soul Edge! He got his ass kicked and ran away like a sissy because he didn't want to come home and disappoint your dad!"

"That's not true!" Mina scowled. "Hwang--"

"Got his ass kicked," Yunsung interrupted. "Meanwhile, the much-more talented, and sexually appealing Hong Yunsung, kicked the ass of that jack-ass Japanese samarai, kicked the ass of Nightmare, kicked the ass of Creepy Skeleton Thing, found the sword--"

"And the much-much-much-much-much more talented and sexually appealing Seung Mina came along, kicked the ass of Yunsung, smashed the sword and saved the world," Mina scoffed.

"Because your weenie sissy boyfriend couldn't," Yunsung finished, ignoring the getting his ass kicked by Mina part. "Which proves my point. Hwang Sung Kyung is a gay weenie sissy boy who wants your zanbatou up his glory hole. Case closed." 

"If you keep bashing Hwang my zanbatou's going up YOUR glory hole," Mina threatened.

"Fine, as long as I get to stick something up yours," Yunsung grinned, earning a smash in the head with said zanbatou. "Ow. Alright, I deserved that one."

"Damn right you did," Mina scowled. "Alright, tell me. If Hwang is a gay weenie sissy boy, then how come he's in love with me? Huh? Answer that one, oh great and 'sexually appealing' one. And I meant that sarcastically," she added, noticing Yunsung's eyebrows shoot up.

"Damn. Oh. Sorry to break it to you, Mi, but you're covering for him. Nobody would think Hwang's really a fairy when he's got his hottie girlfriend on his arm," Yunsung scoffed. "You know I'm right."

"Shut up," Mina scowled. She hated to admit it, but Yunsung had a point. "You've got no idea what it's like to be Hwang."

"Oh whatever. Yeah, it must suck to be Hwang, considered a hero because he didn't do anything, being worshipped by everyone in the dojo, having girls throw themselves at his feet because they want to get in his pants, oooh, sounds soo hard," Yunsung said. He stood up and dropped the crap he was holding. "The only reason you're being so defensive is because you know I'm right. Just go ahead and and admit it. Sing it to the heavens."

Mina gritted her teeth angrily and swung her weapon, narrowly missing her younger companion's head. "Discussion over! And not because you're right! Because I'm sick of talking to you! Pick up the crap and let's get going!" She scowled and stormed up ahead, her split skirt blowing up in her rush, giving Yunsung a nice free show.

Yunsung rolled his eyes. As usual, it was Hwang Hwang Hwang Hwang Hwang. What was so great about Hwang? Yunsung had come far further than Hwang ever dreamed of coming. He had even grabbed Soul Edge by the handle- before it shocked his ass, of course- but Hwang couldn't even prove the Sword existed.

In fact, Yunsung's left hand still felt rather tingly from his experience with the cursed sword. Maybe if he touched Mina he'd be able to zap her, scare the shit out of her.

"Mina, wait up!" Yunsung yelled, grabbing an armful of bags and waddling over to her.

"What?" Mina scowled, turning around.

"I would like to offer my sincerest apologies," Yunsung said, giving Mina his sweetest, most innocent "I'm not up to anything, I swear" smiles. "I'm very sorry if I offended you. I should have realized that your feelings for Hwang are sincere and from the heart, and it's not my place to question that."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Drop the act, you little shit. I know what you're up to."

"No, seriously, I'm sorry!" Yunsung protested.

"I'm probably going to regret this sooner or later, but what the hell. Alright," Mina said, and smiled. "You're forgiven."

"Sweet! Thanks! Shake?" Yunsung suggested, offering his left hand to Mina.

Mina looked at him. "What'd you do, wipe your ass on it?"

"No! Mina! I can't believe you would accuse me of such inconsideration!" Yunsung gasped. Hey, hanging out with that annoying girl who talked to the wind did pay off. He learned all sorts of new ways to talk, suck up, and kiss people's asses!

Mina sighed and reluctantly shook his hand. "There. Happy now, you-- AAAGGGH!!" Mina screamed, feeling a red wave of electric badness shock her arm. "YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" She proceeded to tackle Yunsung, and all the baggage he was carrying, but before she could murder him, someone called, "Mina!"

Mina turned around and Yunsung honestly thought someone was playing a cheesy romantic BGM nearby. "HWANG!" Mina squealed, jumping to her feet ("AAOW! Getoffamee!!" Yunsung wailed, as his torso was mercilessly stomped on by Mina's boots) and running to Hwang.

"HWANG!! I missed you!!" Mina squealed, running into Hwang's arms, while Yunsung rolled his eyes and supressed his gag reflex. As usual, even though he was being hugged by a half-naked spazzy girl, Hwang showed barely any emotion at all, only hugging her and saying, "I missed you too."

Yunsung grinned. Gay.

Mina giggled happily and turned around. "Hurry up, Yunsung! We're almost home!" she yelled, grabbing Hwang's hand. "Hwang, did you miss me?"

"Of course," Hwang said, calm and emotionless as always. "Umm... Mina, what's that kid's name? Yunsung, there we go. Yunsung, do you need any help with those bags?"

"NOT FROM YOU I DON'T," Yunsung snarled, snatching the crap up from the ground and storming past Mina and Hwang.

"What's his problem?" Hwang asked.

"Eh, I dunno. Mood swings?" Mina suggested.

About another hour went by, and night had fallen over the land. Yunsung finally collapsed in front of the dojo, dropping Mina's crap and rolling onto his back, gasping for air. I'm never letting her boss me around again, Yunsung decided, staring up at the night sky.

"Yunsung, get up," Mina said, prodding his limp form with her boot. "C'mon, aren't you hungry?"

"Go... away..." Yunsung gasped.

"Let's leave him alone, Mina," Hwang suggested. "He's exhausted from the trip home."

"I AM NOT!" Yunsung screamed, jumping to his feet although he thought his lungs would burst. He grabbed Mina's stuff again and stormed into the dojo, kicking the door open and ignoring the "Hey! Yunsung's back!" comments.

"Where d'you want your stuff?" he asked Mina, who followed him to her room.

"Just drop it down somewhere," Mina said, waving her hand casually.

Yunsung proceeded to drop the bags exactly where he stood, and unable to keep breathing, collapsed on Mina's bed. Mina rolled her eyes and left the room, deciding to let him just lie there until he remembered how to breathe again.

"Hey, Hwang? Where's my father?" Mina asked, looking around.

"I'm not sure. He's around," Hwang said, looking around. "So, tell me. How did your journey go? Did you destroy Soul Edge?"

"I'll tell you, but let's go to your room first, I want to be alone," Mina giggled, as she grabbed Hwang's hand and dragged him off towards his own room. "Man your room's boring. Don't you wear anything else but blue tunics and gray pants?"

"Not really," Hwang said, and sat down on his bed. "It's just a room. I only use it to sleep."

"Hey, just out of curiosity, how mad was Dad when he found out Yunsung left? He didn't seem too mad, but I never told him Yunsung took White Storm," Mina said.

"He said Yunsung had better be dead when he came back to the dojo, because if he wasn't, he'd have quite a punishment," Hwang chuckled. "But I think he was just worried.

"I feel kind of bad. I did give him the sword," Mina pointed out.

"Yes, but you didn't tell him he could keep it and run off on a wild adventure," Hwang said, and put his arms around Mina. "Let's not talk about Yunsung. I want to talk about you."

"Oh Hwang," Mina sighed, and yawned. "I'm so sleepy... we've been walking for so long... Mmm..." She yawned again and burrowed her face in Hwang's chest. "Good night... Zzzzz..."

Hwang smiled and leaned back, holding Mina to him still. "Good night, Mina," he said, pulling the blanket over the two of them. Mina was already asleep, and Hwang yawned and went to sleep as well.

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No they are not doing anything bad, this is a T rated story. :) The fun begins in the NEXT chapter... haha.

Anyways, review if you please, flames are accepted, so do whatever you want. But reviews are always nice. :D 

Search for the Sword updates will continue as soon as I get off my lazy ass and proofread the damn chapter. Normally I don't proofread anything, so this chapter is fresh of the laptop. Woo.

Peace out as always, stay tuned for next chapter soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Woohoo, this update brings you all the next chapter, which you have been ANXIOUSLY AWAITING!! Yeah. Sure. Let's go with that. :D

Umm, since a couple people who review this story also review "The War", I might as well say it here- I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with that story, so unfortunately it'll sit there the way it is until I get some inspiration for it. I REALLY don't want to describe a battle for a story off a Dynasty Warriors 4 level, so it'll stay there and die until further notice. :P

Otherwise I have no witty remarks to make. Enjoy.

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Yunsung awoke with a loud groggy yawn. "Mmm..." he grunted, and rolled over, to have his face press against what felt like a toned chest.

"Huh?" Yunsung groaned, sitting up. What he saw nearly caused him to scream in horror. He was cuddled up to a sleeping HWANG!!

"GAAAH!" Yunsung screamed, breaking free of Hwang's embrace and falling off the side of the bed as a result. "Geez! Oww!"

Hwang apparently could sleep through Armageddon, and didn't budge.

Yunsung folded his arms and sighed, trying to remember the events of last night. "Why'm I in Hwang's room?" he wondered, and reached a hand up to scratch his head.

Instead of his own spiky red hair, Yunsung felt a long, soft braid. "Huh?" he wondered. "What the..."

He looked down at himself and screamed again.

"HOLY... OH MY... WHAT THE..." Yunsung gasped, unable to find words. He was looking down at a woman's body. Mina's body, to be specific. Down Mina's orange top, to be even more specific.

"No way," Yunsung gaped. He tugged on the opening of Mina's top and gaped again. Those sure as hell weren't his. Almost too afraid to look, Yunsung reached for Hwang's sword to look at his own reflection, and nearly died. Seung Mina's face was looking right back at him. Except, it wasn't Mina's face anymore. IT WAS HIS.

"GAAAAAAAH!" Yunsung screamed, and this time Hwang apparently woke up.

"Uhhh... Mina? What's the matter?" Hwang asked sleepily.

If I tell him I'm really Yunsung he'll think I'm insane, Yunsung thought desperately. "Uh, nothing's wrong," Yunsung said quickly, assuming a higher pitched voice to try and sound convincing. Hope he's not expecting a good morning make out or something, because I AM NOT DOING THAT!!

"If nothing's wrong, then why'd you scream?" Hwang asked, looking suspicious. "Was there someone in here or something?"

"What? Of course not, don't be stupid. I screamed because I woke up next to you, buddy," Yunsung snapped, forgetting he was supposed to be Mina. "I mean... uhh..."

"Mina, is something the matter? You can tell me anything," Hwang said, and the serious expression on his face made Yunsung want to gag. Still, Mina would probably swoon at something like that.

"Don't worry about it," Yunsung said, forcing himself to at least be polite. "I, er... yeah. Bye bye!" He dashed out of the room, leaving a very confused Hwang Sung Kyung alone.

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Mina yawned sleepily and stretched her arms, enjoying the comfort of her own bed.

Wait a minute... my own bed? I slept with Hwang last night, Mina remembered. Aww, he's so sweet he probably carried me into my own bed! She got out of bed and decided to go thank Hwang for being such a nice guy, when she heard a loud banging on her door.

"OI!! MINA!! LET ME IN!!"

"Huh?" Mina asked. "Who's there?"

"YUNSUNG. We've got a situation here."

"What're you talking about?" Mina asked, and rolled her eyes. Leave it to Yunsung to make a big deal out of everything. Reluctantly, she opened the door and screamed. She was staring herself in the face.

"Yeah," replied Yunsung's voice, coming from Mina's own lips. "I take it you haven't looked in a mirror yet?"

Almost too afraid to look, Mina took the sword Yunsung the Mina was holding, and gaped.

"AAAAHH!!!" Mina screamed. "I'M YOU!! HOW DID THIS... WHAT THE... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?? AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

"Would you shut up before you wake the entire dojo!? I'd rather nobody finds out I've got.. girl parts!" Yunsung said, shutting the door behind him and looking embarrassed. "Any idea how this HAPPENED?"

"I don't care how it happened! I want my body back!" Mina shrieked, collapsing on the bed, kicking and screaming. "I'M NOT YUNSUNG!! I'M MINA!! I'M MINA!!"

Yunsung grabbed Mina the Yunsung, sat her/him up, and proceeded to slap his former self across the face with his small Mina hand. "Don't make me hurt myself again!" he warned.

Mina, however, was enraged. She cocked back Yunsung's larger fist and proceeded to punch Yunsung the Mina right in the face, causing him/her to fly across the room and smash into the wall.

"HEY! Be careful with my body!" Mina shrieked, although with Yunsung's slightly more manly vocal cords' influence it didn't sound as whiny as it normally would.

"You're the one who punched me across the room!" Yunsung complained, holding his sore Mina nose. "Oww!"

"I wasn't trying to!" Mina grumbled.

"Well watch it! You've got my muscle, remember?! You're gonna kill me!" Yunsung whined. "I'm a girl now, remember!?" Yunsung's Mina eyes suddenly widened.

"What?" Mina asked. "You thought of a way to get us back to normal!?"

"No, better! I've got boobs now!" Yunsung gaped, and tugged down Mina's top to look down at her busty chest, and was stopped as his Mina head was jerked sideways, his entire face throbbing with pain.

"Oww!! What'd you do THAT FOR!? I just wanted to look!" Yunsung whined, letting Mina's top go. "They're MINE now anyways!"

"I don't think so, you horny little pervert!" Mina scowled. She raised her Yunsung fist to punch him again, but couldn't bring herself to bludgeon her own face again.

"Geez, fine," Yunsung scowled. "I won't look."

"Good!" Mina said, and crossed her arms. "You don't see ME playing with your--"

Yunsung had sneakily turned around, pretending to busy himself by looking in Mina's mirror, thinking she had looked away. He casually tried to feel his new chest up when he found himself soaring into the wall and smashing against it.

Mina got up off her own body and scowled, having just tackled Yunsung the Mina into a wall.

"Darn it Mina, cut it out!!" Yunsung wailed. "I hit a lot harder than you do!"

"Oh yeah? Try me!" Mina yelled, pounding her new toned chest with her larger fist. She was actually starting to like having Yunsung's muscle and strength.

"That's not what I meant!" Yunsung grumbled, his entire head throbbing with pain. "MY fists are a lot stronger than yours, you're gonna kill me if you're not more careful!"

"Then QUIT FEELING UP YOUR-- MY-- WHOEVER IT IS'S CHEST!!" Mina screamed, jumping up and down in her rage. Yunsung watched as her jumping slowed down, her Yunsung eyes widening.

"What?" Yunsung asked.

"How do you deal with..." Mina lowered her voice and pointed to her Yunsung crotch. "That?" she finished.

Yunsung blinked in confusion for a second and his eyes widened in horror. "Does that mean... I... OH NO!!"

"The fact that we might be stuck like this for the rest of our lives finally sunk in?" Mina offered, at a loss for words.

Yunsung scowled. "Does my face really look that dumb when I don't know something?"

"Yes," Mina giggled. She stared at her body, currently inhabited by Yunsung. "Hey, I slept in my clothes, right? You haven't, err, changed my clothes yet, have you?"

Yunsung's Mina eyebrows shot up. "Would you quit giving me ideas!? You already punched me once!"

Mina the Yunsung groaned. "I can't believe this," she sighed. She flopped back on her bed, but as long as she was Yunsung it wasn't technically her bed. "What're we gonna doooo-- HEY!!"

Yunsung had apparently noticed Mina wasn't paying attention and was now staring down his Mina top down at his new chest again. He didn't notice the charging fist. "Owww!! Stop that! I thought you said you weren't gonna hit me anymore!!" Yunsung complained, although he'd gotten a better look this time around.

Mina raised her Yunsung fist again. "I've decided I've got no problem bashing my own face in as long as I'm not the one wearing it. Buit we're gonna have to cooperate eventually. We've gotta think of a way to work this out."

Yunsung nodded and sat down on Mina's bed. "Alright, I say we don't tell anyone, because they'll think we're crazy," he suggested.

Mina sighed and sat down next to Yunsung, staring at her own face blankly. "But what if someone knows some way to help us? I don't want to be a guy forever!"

"And I don't want to be a GIRL forever!" Yunsung whined. "Look, Mina--"

"Hold up," Mina interrupted. "If we're going to have to be each other, at least until we work this out, we've got to call each other by our bodies' names. Alright? So as of right now I'm Hong Yunsung and you're Seung Mina. Got it?"

"Sure do, Yunsung," Yunsung said with a grin. "Wow, this is kind of fun. What am I saying. This sucks, we need to do SOMETHING."

Mina thought for a second (the sight of Yunsung's face thinking was quite amusing) and smiled. "I know, that's it. When was the last time we touched each other?"

Yunsung thought for a second and scowled. "When you clobbered me a few minutes ago."

"No, no, before we switched bodies," Mina said. "C'mon, think."

"On the way home! I zapped you with my tingly Soul Edge arm!" Yunsung said, pointing to his own left arm. "Which reminds me." He reached over and took hold of his own arm with his new Mina hand and scowled. "The tingly feeling went away. Darn."

"So if our bodies switched when you ZAPPED me, you little bastard, how come it took so long for our bodies to trade over?" Mina wondered.

"I dunno, but we've gotta find a way to make our bodies go back to normal," Yunsung groaned. "I might want to have kids someday!"

"Where have you been? Girls have kids all the time," Mina pointed out.

"Exactly," Yunsung grumbled. "Uh oh."

"What?" Mina asked.

"I've gotta go," Yunsung said, looking alarmed.

"Go where?" Mina asked.

"I've gotta take a squirt, Mina, what do you think?" Yunsung scowled.

Mina's eyes widened. "Oh, no! I don't you looking down there!"

Yunsung grinned mercilessly. "You know, I think I fancy a nice hot bath." He ran out of Mina's-- his new-- room and in the direction of the bathroom, laughing.

"GET BACK HERE YOU ASSFACED DICKWAD!!" Mina screamed, chasing after her own body, enraged that Yunsung's body was so damn slow. "MOVE IT! COME ON!" she screamed at the hairy foreign legs.

Two students of the dojo happened to walk by and see the Master's daughter running away from that idiot Hong Yunsung, and for some reason Mina had her hands inside her top, and Yunsung was screaming profanity both at Mina and his own legs.

"Crazy around here," Dojo Student Number One said.

"Tell me about it," Dojo Student Number Two said.

They had no idea.

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"Y--Mina, cut it out! Stop!" Mina finally yelled, her Yunsung legs unable to catch up to her own body.

Yunsung the Mina slowed down and turned around, suspicion in his Mina eyes. "Uh huh. Why, so you can kill me?"

"No," Mina said. "The only way we're going to ever get our bodies back is by not arguing... and working together. So by all means, go to the bathroom. I don't want you pissin' all over my clothes. And take a bath. I don't care."

Yunsung looked confused, his Mina eyebrows raised. "Huh? You caved THAT easily?"

"No. But this giant chase made me realize something," Mina sighed, and blushed, her Yunsung face turning redder than her Yunsung hair.

"What?" Yunsung asked. "You're madly in love with me?"

"What? No, of course not. Worse," Mina sighed. "I've gotta go to the bathroom too."

"That's not a big deal," Yunsung laughed. "I don't care if you see my--"

"That's not it," Mina grumbled.

Yunsung's Mina eyes widened. "Oh. You've never... I get it. This might get a little messy."

"Exactly what does that mean?" Mina asked.

"You'll see. Come on." Yunsung grabbed one of his own wrists in his smaller Mina hand and led the way to the bathroom, wondering how on earth was he supposed to teach Seung Mina how to stand up and pee at the same time.

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It's too fun having Mina beat the shit out of Yunsung!! WOOHOO!!

Yup, that's it for meee, feel free to grovel to my 1337ness in a review. :D Points to whoever knows what 1337 means.


	3. Chapter 3

Holy crap, it's an UPDATE:D This update brings you further advancements into the awkwardness of being trapped in the body of your opposite gender, which, I've noticed, has been done to death. Think about it-- pretty much everything known to man has done a gender-bender body-switching thing, but mine's just better than everyone else's. ;D

Funny story, right? So yesterday, I was on the bus, bored out of my mind, stuck behind another bus, ironically enough, so I figured out a good way to end this thing. I had nothing to write with, just black eyeliner, (which now that I think about it, could have been used :P) so when I get home, to type up my fantastically great and in-character ending, I stare down at my laptop with a blank mind. I forgot the whole damn thing. XP Ah well, which means this'll probably end on a crappy note. Ah well. My apologies in advance.

Oh, and the language is about to take a nosedive into BAD pretty soon... just f-bombs, really, sexual innuendo is already running throughout this thing. XD Hwang's also kind of OOC, but mostly because he's confused as hell about what's going on. You'll see.

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After his bizarre conversation with Mina this morning, Hwang had shrugged it off and continued along his regular activities. He ate a nice meal for breakfast, avoided discussing marriage with Master Seung, and decided to take a nice relaxing bathroom break.

The door was closed. Hwang, annoyed that his heroism at the dojo still wouldn't allow him ownership of his own personal bathroom, knocked. "Hello? Can you hurry in there?" he asked.

"Hang on, we-- err, I'm-- a little busy in here," came Yunsung's voice.

"Oh. Sorry. I'll be right here," Hwang said.

In the bathroom, Mina was having quite a bit of trouble adjusting to the "stand up and go" method.

"Come on, I do it all the time, just wiggle your hips, bend your knees, and think about waterfalls," Yunsung was saying. "Hurry up, YUNSUNG, before I piss all over your clothes!" He laughed and Mina proceeded to punch him with her Yunsung fist again.

"Owww... how come you hit so HARD?" Yunsung whined. He never knew he was THAT strong.

Hwang's eyes widened in horror. Did Yunsung just hit Mina? And why the hell are they in there together!?

"How can I just... go?" Mina gaped, staring at the toilet over Yunsung's, er... anyways, the method seemed too disgusting. "I can't do it!"

"Well then MOVE so I CAN GO!" Yunsung wailed, his legs wobbling.

Mina scowled. "Fine! But you try anything and you die!"

Yunsung untied his Mina waistband and stared as his Mina split skirt fell to the ground. He stared up at his own face, which was glaring at him menancingly.

"I can tell you can't handle this," Mina sighed, and with one of her larger Yunsung hands, covered her own eyes so Yunsung couldn't see. She sighed and removed her underwear from Yunsung's new waist, and pushed him down on the toilet.

"Now go," Mina sighed.

"How?"

"JUST DO IT!!" Mina screamed. "Just sit and go!"

Hwang was still on the other side of the door, now wondering WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THERE. First he heard Mina's voice... then Yunsung's? Where they in there together?

"What's going on in that bathroom!?" Hwang demanded, but neither Yunsung the Mina or Mina the Yunsung could hear him.

"This is really weird," Yunsung commented, after his Mina underwear and split skirt were securely fastened on his slim new waist.

Mina sighed and sat down on the toilet seat, dropping her Yunsung shorts to the ground. "I don't see why I can't just do it like this," she scowled, and finished. "There."

"I guess you can do it like that," Yunsung said, rolling his eyes. "OK, so now we're used to going to the bathroom. Now what?"

"I guess we've gotta start acting like each other," Mina sighed.

"Hey! What's going on in there!?" Hwang demanded, pounding on the door.

"Uh oh. That's Hwang," Yunsung groaned. "I guess I've gotta act like his girlfriend?"

Mina sighed and scratched her head, still unfamiliar with the feel of Yunsung's red hair. "You don't have to," she said, noticing how awkward it would be for Yunsung to be affectionate to another guy, particularly his hated rival of all people. "But don't do anything to make me look like I don't like him, will ya?"

"OK. Promise," Yunsung said, and gulped. "Oh boy." He opened the door with his small Mina hand to see an annoyed Hwang Sung Kyung.

"Exactly WHAT were you two doing in there for so long?" Hwang scowled. "Mina? Care to explain?"

Yunsung forgot he was Mina, being the stupid idiot he was, and quickly shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, what were you doing out here for so long?" Mina asked, in a deeper version of her own voice, which sounded nothing like Yunsung's.

"I was waiting to use the bathroom, Yunsung," Hwang said, and went in. "Excuse me." He shut the door and left Mina the Yunsung and Yunsung the Mina to their own devices again.

"Want to go outside?" Mina the Yunsung suggested. "We'd be away from everyone else... we can at least practice being each other some more..."

"Alright," Yunsung agreed. As the two headed outside, they luckily were able to avoid anybody bothering them. "Any idea on how to get us back to normal?"

"Not a clue," Mina groaned, and buried her Yunsung face into her Yunsung hands.

"Wasn't there some stupid legend or something about those that geisha and that samurai who switched bodies?" Yunsung asked, scratching his head before realizing he just messed up Mina's hairstyle, and he had no idea how to fix it. "I heard somebody talking about it on my trip... think that annoying girl who talked to the Wind told me about it... " 

"Really? What happened?" Mina asked.

"I know they were mortal enemies or something like that... but the only way for them to switch back was for them to set aside their differences was to do some stupid love ritual, or some crap like that," Yunsung said.

"What kind of love ritual? Having sex?" Mina asked, confused. "Cause, ew."

"Uh, Talim didn't specify, but I remember how the story ended," Yunsung said.

"Of COURSE all you remember is the part we don't need to know. But who cares. How'd it end?" Mina asked.

"The geisha and the samurai hated each other too much and wouldn't go through with the ritual, so they both spent the rest of their lives as each other," Yunsung said, and his Mina face fell. "That doesn't help at all."

"It kind of does... I mean, we're not mortal enemies, but it's worth a shot," Mina said, and blushed.

"Uh..." was about all Yunsung could say. "You, uh... wanna hug or something?"

"Sure, let's try that," Mina said, and awkwardly leaned over to hug her own body. Yunsung put his slim Mina arms around his own broad shoulders and hugged himself.

"Nothing's happening," Mina grumbled.

"Uhhhhh... now what?" Yunsung asked nervously.

"We could try... um... kissing," Mina suggested, blushing horribly. "It'd be just like kissing ourselves... I think..."

"I want my first kiss for when I'm a guy," Yunsung sighed.

"Well, too bad," Mina said. "Alright, here we go..."

Yunsung blushed redder than his own hair. He leaned in a little closer to the face he had worn for all 18 years of his life. Mina watched her own face edge closer and blushed horribly.

"Let's just get this over with," Mina gulped, and leaned closer.

"I CAN'T DO THIS!!" Yunsung screamed, pulling back. "No way!! Way too weird!!"

"Don't be such a priss. You want to be stuck as each other for the rest of ETERNITY!?" Mina grumbled.

"I don't care!! I won't do it!!" Yunsung whined, folding his arms.

"Dammit, MINA, we're never going to be able to show ourselves in public if we don't do this! NOW PLANT ONE ON ME!" Mina ordered.

"FINE!" Yunsung screamed, and leaned in to kiss his own mouth with his smaller Mina mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING NOW!?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Today just wasn't Hwang's day. First, Mina's horrified to wake up in the same bed as him. Next, after a lovely breakfast, he goes to the bathroom to hear Yunsung and Mina playing with each other's naughty bits. And now THIS? Yunsung trying to force Mina into going along with his twisted romantic fantasies!?

Sure enough, the sound of his booming voice was enough to cause the two to jump seven feet in the air. Yunsung's eyes widened in shock and horror as he scrambled to his feet.

"No! Hwang, I was so not kissing Yu--- err, Mina!! I--I mean, uh, SHE, is completely in love with you!" Yunsung protested, his voice bordering on shrieking in his hysteria.

"Too bad for you, pal," Mina scoffed, standing up and throwing her chest out in a rather masculine way. "I guess you're just not Mi-- MY type anymore! Can you blame me? I-- err, Yunsung-- is just so cute!!" She grinned at Yunsung, who looked like he was about to strangle her, and turned back to Hwang. "And he is, like, so much of a better kisser than YOU ARE! HAH! IN YO FACE!" She stomped off, leaving a very angry Hwang and a now nervous Yunsung.

"I am going to kill hi--her," Yunsung growled, wringing his hands nervously. "Uhh, she's not feeling herself today. She's sick," he explained, his normally tanned face becoming a ghastly white. "Don't be mad at hi--her..."

"Mina? Oh, no, Yunsung. I'm not mad at Mina at all," Hwang said, shaking his head, although pure rage was burning in his eyes. "I saw you demanding that Mina kiss you. I heard you two playing around in the bathroom today. And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do either," Hwang said, folding his arms.

"What am I trying to do?" Yunsung asked, confused.

"Don't play dumb, Yunsung," Hwang growled, cracking his knuckles. "I'm well aware that some of you here think you can have your way with Mina because I've been gone for a while. But just--because--I'm--gone--for--two--years--doesn't--mean--I'm--not--still--in love--with--MINA!" Hwang had proceeded to grab Yunsung by his open shirt, shaking him with every word.

"I'm going to let you off the hook for now, but if I catch you or anyone else near Mina again, you're in trouble. Understand?" Hwang asked.

Yunsung nodded, and scowled. "You know what Hwang? You're not as great as everyone says you are. You're just an asshole!" Yunsung proceeded to shove Hwang off him, shoving the older man to the ground. "I bet you think you're such a hardass because you supposedly saved the world. But Yunsung came one hell of a lot closer than you ever did, and I'M the one who destroyed that sword! So FUCK OFF!" Yunsung proceeded to turn around dramatically and stomp off.

Hwang stared, both blinded by anger and confused. Since when did Yunsung start referring to himself in the 3rd person?

Oh, who cares. He's crazed.

(AN: In case you're lost, the Mina that dissed Hwang is really Yunsung the Mina, and the Yunsung that Hwang was yelling at was really Mina the Yunsung, and Hwang has no idea about any of this.)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The minute she was out of Hwang's sight, Mina the Yunsung ran back to the dojo as fast as her strong new Yunsung legs could take her, almost in shock at what she just witnessed.

Hwang's an asshole, Mina sighed. He's just been acting all nice to me so I'd fall in love with him. And it worked, too. Mina kicked the ground, forgetting her boots were no longer on her feet and she was wearing a pair of sandals instead.

"Oww," Mina grumbled, sitting down and staring at her Yunsung hands. "I don't believe this. I'm going to be stuck like this forever!"

"You're telling me," Yunsung the Mina sighed, sitting down next to his body on the ground. "Man. I see Hwang didn't kill me."

"No," Mina groaned, "but he was going to. I've never seen him so angry before. You were wrong, Yu--Mina, he DOES have emotions. He was about to pummel your body into goo before I told him off.

"You told him off?" Yunsung gasped. "What'd you tell him?"

"I told him he was a demented loser and he didn't save the world at all," Mina summarized, deciding to leave the part about Yunsung out. "But that's not the point. Your story about that geisha and samurai who switched bodies didn't work, now what?"

"How should I know?" Yunsung asked. "Mi, face it, we're gonna be stuck like this forever."

"No we're not, but throwing in the towel like that almost makes it a guarantee," Mina scowled. "Maybe when YOU zapped me with Soul Edge energy, the sword's energy caused us to switch bodies?"

"Suuuuure, blame it on me," Yunsung scoffed. "Too bad it wore off."

Mina sighed and sat back. "I guess it can't get any worse. You haven't encountered my dad yet, that might get kind of ugly..."

"How? Your dad loves me!" Yunsung said.

"He loves Yunsung. But he's frustrated with Mina," Mina reminded.

"Oh. What else?" Yunsung asked, figuring if he'd have to be Mina he might as well do it right.

"Welll... when I walk I don't bounce up and down like you do. I drag my heels a little," Mina said.

"How d'you know what you look like when you walk?" Yunsung asked.

"I just do. Luckily I'm not one for proper girly behavior, so you don't have to worry about any of that," Mina said thoughtfully.

"Uh oh, training! What are you gonna tell Master-- err, uh, Dad-- when you suck at using my sword?" Yunsung asked.

"I know how to use a sword, dumbass, don't worry about that," Mina scoffed. "How good are you with a zanbatou?"

"You mean fighting with one? Never tried," Yunsung said. "They're too girly."

"Then keep your ass out of trouble so you don't have to fight," Mina said. "And what do you mean GIRLY?"

Yunsung was spared having to answer when two other students of the dojo walked by, one of them spotting Yunsung and Mina.

"Hey, Mina!" called the loudmouth, some jerk named Kang. Yunsung knew most of the guys in the dojo by their given names, but others were only known by their family name, such as this guy. "What're you doing wasting your time with that fairy Hong? Come over with us and we'll show you a good time!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FAIRY!?" Yunsung screamed, jumping to his feet.

"He's calling ME a fairy, NOT YOU, MINA," Mina reminded, jumping up. What would Yunsung say at a time like this?

"Oh. Uhh, I mean, uhh, Yunsung is the awesomest guy here! And you guys suck! Each other!" Yunsung said in his Mina voice, ignoring the glare Mina just shot him and the looks of disbelief on the other two jerks' faces.

"Hey, I'm not a fairy!" Mina said, deepening her voice and trying to look tough. "You want to fight? Bring it on!"

Yunsung winced. Bring it on!? She can do a little better than THAT!

Kang and his friend exchanged glances and smirked. "You want to fight, Hong? Let's go. Or, in your words, I'll 'bring it on'." Kang walked up to Mina the Yunsung and folded his arms. "C'mon. Hit me, you stupid--"

POW. Wasting no time, Mina swung her Yunsung fist and it collided with the asshole's face. "Want some more, pal?" she laughed, kicking Kang in the stomach.

"Hey! Whaddaya think you're doing?!" Kang's friend yelled. "You think you're so hot? Well try some of--"

BAM. Another swing of Mina's Yunsung fist and this guy was out cold.

"Ha! I'm too good!" Mina chuckled, blowing on her Yunsung fist like it was a smoking gun. "Maaan, Yunsung, I never knew how strong you were! I JUST WANT TO KILL SOMETHING!!"

"I guess the testosterone is kicking in," Yunsung commented, although he had to admit, he liked the way his hair looked when he threw a punch.

"My dad's going to kill you," Mina commented, staring down at the unconcious boys. "Remember, no fighting?"

"You mean he's gonna kill YOU," Yunsung scoffed. He stretched his arms and his Mina top popped up. "Whoa!!" he yelped, pulling it down. "Geez. Maybe in the next game they'll give you a top that fits you, Mi."

Mina stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, well, at least I didn't star in one of Talim's endings, Mr. I-Like-Jailbait," she scoffed.

"HEY!! I do NOT like her! She's annoying!" Yunsung complained. "Plus she's flatter than an ironing board! That's not jailbait, it's child molestation!"

"You're right, that crazy girl at Ostrheinsburg Castle would be jailbait," Mina said thoughtfully. "Ah well. Back to the problem of these two losers, let's just tell my dad they were, uh, flirting with me, and you, in a rage of jealousy, knocked them out cold. Of course you didn't get any as a result, but--" 

"That's not gonna work," Yunsung complained. "Hey, y'know, what Master Seung doesn't know ain't gonna hurt him. Let's just hide these two losers, they'll think they made the whole thing up." He walked over and grabbed Kong by his arm, nearly giving himself a hernia in the process.

"A little help here?" Yunsung asked, turning to the shadow of his former self (literally).

Mina the Yunsung grabbed the two boys by their wrists and dragged them off through the large fields surrounding the dojo on all sides. "Can't we just drop 'em in the river?" she suggested, an evil smile crossing her Yunsung lips.

"Nah, too suspicious. Let's just dump 'em here," Yunsung suggested.

"Whaaatever. So what do we do now? Practice being each other again?" Mina asked.

"I fancy a nap," Yunsung yawned. "This wimpy body gets tired too fast."

"IT DOES NOT!" Mina said. "You just don't know how to use it!"

"If you say so. See ya, handsome," Yunsung said, winking at Mina, who rolled her eyes.

"Quit hitting on me! It'll look too suspicious!" Mina complained.

"Hey, if anyone asks why Mina's taken a sudden liking to Yunsung, I'll just explain to 'em how I've fallen madly in love with him and I refuse to hide my true feelings anymore," Yunsung chuckled, slapping Mina the Yunsung on the ass playfully. "Man, YUNSUNG, you've got a great ass. See ya!"

Mina swung a punch at Yunsung the Mina's head, but missed and swore instead.

"Uggghhh... I've got to get my body back," Mina scowled, looking down at the river. The water wasn't too troubled, so she could see her-- YUNSUNG'S-- reflection almost perfectly.

He's not a bad looking guy, Mina mused. And he does have a good body... at least as good as Hwang's. I guess if I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life I'd better get used to it...

Her eyes widened. WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?

I'm going insane, Mina decided, and headed inside the dojo as well. I'm gonna take a nice long bath and get some sleep. Then when I wake up this whole NIGHTMARE will be done and over with.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	4. Chapter 4

Damn, I haven't groveled/kissed the asses of Namco by mentioning I don't own Soul Calibur. Nope, if I owned Soul Calibur, Talim wouldn't be ogling Yun-seong's ass at every opportunity she got... because she's ANNOYING!! Bwaha, I hate Talim. :3

Woo. Took forever (a week) to update, but since I'm such an awesome writer I'm sorry to deny you guys the honor of reading my words. Believing all that? Haha, just kidding. Nah, just busy reading Harry Potter/mourning the loss of (one of) my FAVORITE CHARACTERS who I LOVED. :(

Sniff, sniff... ANYWAY, our two morons Yun-seong and Mina left off still stuck in each others' bodies, and now Hwang is getting uber-suspicious and has decided to decide what's going on for himself...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mina had just finished the personal trauma of taking a bath, and was now considering gouging her eyes out to get rid of the unsavory mental images that were wreaking havoc on her brain. Yunsung had a great body with lots of muscles, thanks to all the training at the Seung Dojo, but Mina made a mental note to never call Yunsung a 'kid' again. He was a _big_ boy.

She managed to get herself dressed, grateful Yunsung's clothes weren't anything complex, and just as she collapsed on Yunsung's bed, there was a knock on the door.

"Gway," Mina groaned, her face muffled in the pillows.

The knock grew louder.

"I said go away, dammit!!" Mina yelled. How _dare_ someone ignore the commands of Seung Mina!! When she told her father there was gonna be hell to pay from that rotten sunuva---

"Young man, you don't have the right to talk to me like that!" Master Seung himself entered the room, looking angry. "What's gotten into you, Yunsung?"

SHIT. I'm YUNSUNG, Mina remembered. "Sorry, Da-- errr, MASTER!! I've been, uh, having some personal issues to attend to lately."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. But first I would like to say congratulations," Master Seung said. "I submitted a request for your admission into the Korean Coast Guard, and you've been accepted. You're going to need to demonstrate your skills, of course, but you show so much potential even Lee Sun Shin himself will be there."

Mina gaped. "Yu--uhh, I'M that good?" Mina asked. She knew Yunsung was talented, but never thought he was THIS good. Hell, he might BE better than Hwang! Hwang sure as hell wasn't EIGHTEEN when he joined the Coast Guard!

"There's no need to be modest, my boy," Master Seung said with a smile. Lord knows the boy wouldn't know modesty if it bit him on the ass. He really MUST be having personal issues.

"Uh... haha, uh, yeah! I mean, uh, I'm the greatest!" Mina said, striking a pose, trying to act convincing. (Think "Great Saiyaman" from Dragonball Z when you imagine this pose.) Judging by her father's raised eyebrows, she figured she was making Yunsung look dumb(er than usual). "Yay me?" she offered.

"I see you do have some... eh... _problems_ to work out, so I'll, uh, leave you alone now," Master Seung said, still staring at Mina the Yunsung with confusion stamped on his face.

"Uh, wait, before you go!! When is my performance? Sir?" Mina added quickly, for good riddance. Ass kissing never hurt.

"I think Lee Sun Shin said... tomorrow? Either tomorrow or Tuesday, it started with a T," Seung Han-Myong said. "Ah, well, it'll come back to me sooner or later."

"Greaaat," Mina groaned. And with _our_ rottenluck it'll be tomorrow.

"And Yunsung, can I ask you something else?" Master Seung asked, eying Mina with an expression Mina couldn't decipher.

"You're going to anyway," Mina replied, then remembered who she was talking to. "Err, um, I mean, sure!"

"Well, this is a rather personal question, but... would you be interested in pursuing my daughter's hand in marriage, by any chance?" Master Seung asked.

Mina's eyes widened in shock. WHAT!? Doesn't the ACTUAL Mina get a say in the matter!?

"I wouldn't want to agree to anything without consulting Mina first, sir," Mina said, choosing her words carefully. She didn't want to make Yunsung look gay or anything, but she wasn't too thrilled about the idea of marrying a guy five years her junior, either.

"I see. Well, my boy, I'm not sure how my daughter feels about the matter, but seeing as Hwang seems to have no interest in marriage anytime soon, I'd rather Mina be happily married by time I'm gone," Master Seung said.

"Hwang doesn't want to get married? To Mina, I mean," Mina said quickly. "Not me."

"Well... don't tell Mina, but... no," Master Seung admitted. "He doesn't want to tie himself down in the case of another war, you see. The boy would rather fight then settle down, and that's where he and I just don't see eye to eye."

Mina felt like she was about to cry, or, put her Yunsung strength to good use and KILL HWANG!!! Well, for now she couldn't do anything but say the words that would ruin her Mina life, and most likely Yunsung's life as well once their bodies were back to normal and he had his Yunsung strength back.

"Master Seung? I am interested in marrying Mina," Mina said, a very Yunsung-like smirk crossing her Yunsung lips.

Master Seung smiled approvingly. "Well you and Mina are still young, so of course you don't have to rush into anything. But as smitten as she is with Hwang, I think my daughter would be very happy with you." He patted Mina's Yunsung shoulder and left.

Mina groaned and flopped back on her bed. What the hell did I just do? she wondered. Wreck my life? Sounds about right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A very annoyed Hwang Sung Kyung returned to his room to think about why, oh WHY his beautiful girlfriend Mina was spending so much time with that obnoxious IDIOT Yunsung.

There was an obvious solution to this. When they were coming home, Mina hit her head and Yunsung brainwashed her into thinking he was her boyfriend instead of myself. That's got to be it.

Or maybe she's pissed off at me. Master Seung probably squealed to her that I didn't want to get married. Which, Hwang was absolutely sure of, he did not want to do.

Marriage sucked. Sure, you got ass every night, but all the crap that followed? Staying home? Keeping her happy? Getting a job to bring home money? CHILDREN?

Not on my agenda, but that can't be on Yunsung's agenda either, all he thinks about is trying to get some ass and food. Hwang rolled his eyes. He still couldn't believe how strangely Mina was acting either. Yunsung was still being his normal idiotic self, but then again, even he was acting a bit strangely. Hwang clearly heard Yunsung forcing Mina to "plant one on him", yet when Hwang caught them in the act, the little weasel jumped up and denied it.

And Mina was always a tomboy, but today she'd been acting almost... mannish. Well not really mannish, but strangely all the while. Something's definitely weird here, Hwang decided. It's almost like they've switched personalities or something.

What a dumb idea. The thought of Mina and Yunsung switching personalities was almost as dumb as the thought of there being a magical sword of salvation that would save us all, Hwang rolled his eyes. They're scheming against me, that's probably it.

Either that, or... nah, that couldn't be it. Mina's not THAT kind of girl, she'd never do something like that...

Maybe if I show Mina more affection she'll fall back in love with me, Hwang decided. I don't want to tie myself down with marriage, but I certainly don't want that little loudmouth Yunsung muscling in on her...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yunsung awoke from his nap with a yawn, and his eyes widened excitedly. Am I a guy again? he wondered, reaching down to his chest.

Judging by the large amount of soft flesh cupped in his hand, he wasn't. Damn. Never been more disappointed to see one of these in my life, Yunsung groaned, as he rolled off the bed and stretched his Mina muscles.

Somebody knocked on the door and Yunsung jumped. "Com-errr, come in," he said, changing his normal voice into the squeaky, high-pitched, sounds-nothing-like-Seung-Mina voice he used when pretending to be her.

The door opened, and in came Hwang Sung Kyung, eying Yunsung-- who he thought was Mina-- with great desire in his eyes. Normally this would give the real Mina a heart attack in her excitment, but to Yunsung, this didn't look good.

"Mina, I think we've been having some problems lately, but I want you to know, you're everything to me," Hwang said, apparently still under the impression he was talking to his girlfriend, rather than a heterosexual teenage male trapped in a girl's body. Hwang probably was trying to make sure Mina loved him, but to Yunsung, it sounded like a load of crap guys say to girls to get in their pants. And he would KNOW; he was a guy! 

Still, he didn't care how he sounded when he promptly told Hwang to screw off.

"Mina? I just want to talk," Hwang protested, but Yunsung the Mina rolled his eyes.

"Get bent, Hwang. I've got better stuff to do then listen to you using crappy pickup lines to get up Min--er, MY-- ass," Yunsung scoffed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hwang demanded, his eyes widening. "For your information I came in here with no intention but to reconcile whatever problems we're having!"

"Uh huh. Do I seriously look that dumb to you?" Yunsung scoffed. "And I'm pretty sure I just got done saying GO AWAY! I'm having, err, woman problems!!" Whatever those are. Yunsung shuddered at the thought.

"Dammit, Mina, if you've got a problem, tell me about it," Hwang said, his lousy swoop-the-girl-off-her-feet attitude disappearing. "We didn't have a single problem until you woke up this morning! What's the matter with you? Did something happen when you were sleeping!?"

You have no idea, buddy. "Of course not," Yunsung lied, hoping he looked convincing, he couldn't manipulate this face the way he could his own to get what he wanted. Instead he decided to use his temporary feminine assets to his advantage, and grabbed the front flap of Mina's split skirt, raising it seductively. "How about, if I show you my panties, you'll go away?" He knew Mina wasn't some cheap ho, but he was becoming desperate to get this moron out of his room.

Well, THAT didn't work. "WHAT did you just say!?" Hwang gasped. "And I'M the one trying to get in YOUR ass? Where'd you learn THAT line, dare I ask? On your _adventure_?"

"Uhh, I have a secret life you know nothing about?" Yunsung offered.

That didn't work either. "I'm sure you do," Hwang scowled. "Because that Sword doesn't exist, and there'd better be a logical explanation as to WHY you and Yunsung were off together for a year and a half."

"Here we go back to the Sword again? Dude, let it go, so I-- I mean, the handsome, charming, and dashing YUNSUNG-- found the Sword before you did, get over it," Yunsung said, not hesitating to lavish praise on himself. "Man, you're an attention whore, Yunsung and me get all the glory and you're telling everyone it's all made up just 'cause you're pissed you're not getting the hero worship anymore?" 

Yunsung had to admit, verbally bitch-slapping Hwang was fun. In ten minutes, Yunsung had seen more emotions flicker across his rival's face than he had in ten years.

"Mina, I'm going to be as blunt as I possibly can. I don't know WHAT THE FUCKING HELL has gotten into you, but mark my words, I will find out. I'll be leaving now, and NO, I don't want to see your--" Hwang winced-- "panties. Excuse me." He left, and shut the door behind him.

He's totally gay, Yunsung convinced himself, pulling up the flap of Mina's split skirt and looking down. Who wouldn't want a glimpse of these? Ew, I'm checking myself out. Gotta stop doing that.

"OWWW!" yelled a voice Yunsung recognized as Mina's low-pitched pretending-to-be-Yunsung voice.

"YUNSUNG? Dare I ask what you're doing on your way to visit my-- OWW! Did you just HIT ME!?"

"OUTTA MY WAY, (H)WANG SUCKER!!" Mina the Yunsung shoved Hwang out of her way and stormed into her old bedroom, where a blank-faced Yunsung the Mina was standing, trying to figure out what on earth was going on and quickly smoothing down the front of his Mina split skirt.

Mina slammed the door in Hwang's enraged face, and turned to her own body, currently inhabited by Yunsung.

"Are you about to tell me something bad?" Yunsung guessed, recognizing his own angry face.

"Big time. Yunsung, you've got a performance either tomorrow or Tuesday," Mina scowled, and saw the look of pure ecstatic bliss light up her old face.

"WHAT!? I'VE BEEN WHAT!? WOO!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!" Yunsung screamed, jumping up and down, performing a double-backflip in midair, and corkscrew-flipping back onto Mina's bed. "Whoa! Never could do that before," he said, still bouncing up and down, shaking Mina's bed.

"Hey, how come you still look so pissed?" Yunsung asked. "Aww, don't worry Mina, when I'm picked for the military and single-handedly kick Hwang's sorry ass into submission, I'll come back and visit!"

"That's not it, dumbass," Mina growled. "Are you forgetting our current predicament?"

Yunsung thought for a second. "Yes," he said.

"LOOK DOWN," Mina growled, trying to keep her temper in check, lest she be forced to bludgeon her own face once more.

Yunsung looked down and was greeted by the sight of the contents of Mina's top. "Whoa! Holy fuck, I forgot I was a girl!" he said, laughing at his stupidity. "What's this gotta do with my performance?"

"Unless we switch back to our regular bodies tonight, I'M going to have to do the performance!!" Mina screamed.

Yunsung's Mina face went blank. "Shit. That's not good."

Mina decided to wait for the explosion. She didn't have to wait long.

"WHADDAYA MEAN, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THE PERFOMANCE?! I'VE BEEN BUSTIN' MY ASS FOR YEARS TO GET THIS FAR, AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA FUCK IT ALL UP AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO START ALL OVER!? THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!! I WANT MY BODY BACK!! I'M SO SCREWED!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Yunsung screamed.

"It's about time reality sunk in," Mina groaned. "All this time you've been acting like it's all a game!!"

"I don't wanna be a girl anymore," Yunsung whimpered, wiping the tears from his face. He stopped, realizing what he was doing. "WHAT THE FUCK!? I'M CRYING!?"

"It's a normal reaction," Mina said, staring at him blankly. "Blow your nose, wouldya?"

Yunsung wiped his nose on one of Mina's window curtains and wiped his eyes. "I hate being a girl," he whined.

"Being a guy's not all bad," Mina said, shrugging. "I've gotten a hang of that stand-and-pee thing, it's not so bad!"

Yunsung looked disgusted. "Mina, I really don't want to think about you playing around with my--"

"THAT DOES IT!!" screamed the voice of Hwang Sung Kyung, and he proceeded to kick the door down. "I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS ANYMORE!!" He seized Blue Thunder (if the sword is called Blue Storm, I offer my sincerest apologies, I'm not sure and it's a minor detail) from his belt and pointed it at Mina the Yunsung.

"I'm not going to stand around while you steal Mina from me!! I refuse to be beaten by some smartass punk kid who can't find his ass with both hands!" Hwang screamed.

"What the hell?" Mina asked, confused. "Hwang, calm down before you do something stupid!"

"SHUT UP!" Hwang screamed, and turned to Yunsung the Mina, who was still snivelling on the bed. "Mina, whatever I've done to hurt you, I'M SORRY!! FUCK THE COAST GUARD, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!! DON'T LEAVE ME FOR--" he stopped to look disgustedly at Yunsung-- "--THAT KID!!"

"WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY TO ME?" Yunsung the Mina screamed, forgetting he was Mina for the tenth time, jumping off the bed and storming right up to Hwang, getting right up to his angry face and poking him in the chest. "I don't know WHAT THE HELL your stinking problem is, but NOBODY'S STEALING ANYONE FROM ANYBODY!! GET THE HELL OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT!! Man, you just keep bargin' in here, using shitty pickup lines on me, and dude, fuck off, I don't like you! Just leave me the hell alone!"

Hwang was even angrier now. "OH REALLY?? THEN MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T MIND TELLING ME WHY YOU SOUND LIKE YUNSUNG!?"

"BECAUSE I AM YUNSUNG!!" Yunsung screamed, grabbing Hwang by his blue collar and shaking the poor man furiously. "I AM YUNSUNG!! I'M NOT A GIRL!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" He proceeded to burst into hysterical tears and threw himself on the bed, kicking and screaming something about wanting his respective genitals back.

Hwang looked over at Mina the Yunsung with a look that clearly wished him a sloooooow, painful death. "I don't know what you've done this time, Yunsung... BUT WHATEVER IT IS YOU DID TO MINA I'LL DO TO YOU!! YOU HEAR ME!?"

Mina the Yunsung had been watching the entire show from the floor, from Hwang's whining to Yunsung's explosion, and was now watching him roll around screaming again. Obviously the poor kid couldn't take it anymore. Must be the girl hormones, Mina grumbled.

Hwang went over to Yunsung the Mina and tried to hold him/her still long enough to comfort him/her, but Yunsung was still hysterical, sobbing into his Mina hands and screaming obscenities at Hwang.

"Mina, please, calm down," Hwang begged. "I didn't mean to upset you!!"

Mina the Yunsung shrugged and sat down on the floor. So far Hwang thought Yunsung did something to Mina to turn her into a crazed hysterical mess, and most likely would try to kick her Yunsung ass in a few minutes. But she might as well enjoy the show.

"Go away!!" Yunsung the Mina shrieked. "I wanna be alone!!"

"Mina, you've been acting strangely all day, please," Hwang said, managing to get his arms around Yunsung the Mina, who now had homophobia to worry about along with the other horrible things going on during the day.

"Get offa me," Yunsung wailed, but Hwang overpowered Yunsung's feeble Mina muscles and hugged him close, stroking his hair.

"It's all going to be OK, Mina," Hwang soothed. "Don't worry... Hwang will take care of you... Hwang'll make sure that psychotic weirdo doesn't come anywhere near you again--"

"I can hear you, you rotten dick," Mina hollered. Hwang mouthed something that looked suspiciously like 'Fuck off' and went back to cradling a very uncomfortable and homophobic Yunsung the Mina in his arms.

"Go awaaay," Yunsung whined. "I already told you I'm Yunsung! Get your hands off me, you creepy boy raper!!"

Hwang rolled his eyes. "Mina, you're being ridiculous. You know just as well as I do that I'm not a 'creepy boy raper', whatever THAT might be."

"Then leggo, jerk," Yunsung grumbled.

"Mina, you're obviously very unstable right now. But I know something I can do to cheer you up," Hwang said with a smile.

Yunsung looked up from his hands. "Lunch?" he asked.

"Better," Hwang said, and leaned in to plant a kiss on the lips that normally belonged to Seung Mina.

Except, well, uh, NOT TODAY.

This won't end well, Mina sighed, and waited for the explosion.

Yunsung the Mina wrenched himself free from Hwang's grip and nearly torpedo'd to the other side of the room, and the look on his Mina face was priceless.

"AAAAAAAGGHHH!! EWWWW!!! OH MY GODD!! YOU JUST KISSED ME, YOU DISGUSTING FUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!? YOU ARE A BOY RAPER!!" Yunsung was now screaming, sinking to the floor, pounding the innocent floor with one hand, wiping his violated mouth with his other hand. "I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!! I'M A GUY!! I'M A GUY!!"

"What is the MATTER with her?" Hwang demanded, staring at the rather pathetic sight of Yunsung the Mina completely losing his mind, as the threads of insanity slowly unwravelled before them. (LIZARDMAN!!)

"Would you just get the hell out of here? I'll take care of this," Mina the Yunsung grumbled, knowing she had her work cut out for her. "All you did was make everything worse. Now beat it."

"Who the hell are you to order me around!?" Hwang demanded, but Mina the Yunsung glared at him.

"If you care at all about Mina, you'll take a hike. Now beat it," Mina ordered. Hwang glared at her and stormed off, muttering something about next time not using so much tongue.

Mina shut the door quickly and went over to the hysterical Yunsung, and tried to think of a way to calm him down in such a manner that it wouldn't scar him for life. "Yunsung?"

Yunsung was now hugging his Mina arms across his chest, gasping through his tears something that sounded like "happy place". Mina sat Yunsung up and slapped him across the face. "SNAP OUT OF IT! QUIT CRYING!"

Yunsung proceeded to cry even harder. "WAAAAAAH!!!" he screamed, and collapsed back on the floor, now screaming something about abuse. Mina rolled her eyes and stood up, leaving Yunsung to wallow in his self-pity, resisting her manly urges to kick him.

Well, technically, he did have reason to be freaking out so badly. This morning when he woke up he was a girl, wedged in the arms of a man he hated; he had to learn a whole new way to go to the bathroom; the moment he'd been waiting for his entire life was about to be destroyed; and the same guy he absolutely hated just kissed him. All in all, it was a pretty horrible day, and to think it wasn't even lunchtime yet!

"Yunsung, calm down," Mina sighed, walking back over to her body, crouched in the fetal position. She winced at her own face's appearance; it had seen better days.

"I CAN'T CALM DOWN," Yunsung gasped between sobbing fits. "I'm a guy!! I'm a guy!!"

Mina reached over and grabbed her own hands in her Yunsung hands. "I know you are! But you saw how Hwang reacted when you tried to tell him the truth, he thought you were crazy!!! And then he tried to calm you down, and, uh... everything went downhill from there. But c'mon, calm down, Hwang didn't kiss you because you were a boy, he thought he was helping, in his own stupid way."

Yunsung took another sniff and wiped his eyes. "I'm gonna be traumatized for life," he whined.

"C'mon, let's just act as normal as we can, and get some lunch," Mina suggested. "I dunno if it's the Yunsung stomach kicking in, but I'm starving."

"I don't want to go back out there! What if Hwang's out there!?" Yunsung whined.

"KILL HIM!" Mina screamed, and remembered at the Seung Dojo, killing was not allowed. Damn. She'd have to talk to her father about that. "Uh, I mean... yeah, kill him, killing him seems about right."

"I don't wanna kill anyone," Yunsung sniffed.

"YES YOU DO!! KILLING GOOD, CRYING BAD!!" Mina screamed. 

"We've gotta get our bodies back. I don't think you can handle the testosterone for much longer," Yunsung sniffled, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

"What're you talking about? I'VE always been violent!! And YOU'VE always been a baby," Mina scoffed. "Don't blame your wimpy girly crying on MY body, sissy boy!"

"Hey!! Don't call me sissy boy!!" Yunsung said angrily, jumping to his feet. "You always find a way to blame me for EVERYTHING, don't you!?"

"This isn't my fault!! I'm the victim here!!" Mina complained. "God only KNOWS what you've done to my body!"

"I am AMAZED you can STAND UP STRAIGHT without a spine," Yunsung grumbled. "Look, maybe this isn't such a big deal, it'll go away eventually, right?"

"IT HAD BETTER!! I'd better not look like this for the rest of my life!" Mina hollered.

Yunsung stopped. "Y'know, Mina, if someone was listening to us right about now, they'd think we're crazy, don't you think?"

"Either that or they'd think we're talking about some weird medical condition," Mina chuckled. "Good thing it's just us, right?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Re-read the last couple sentences, starting at "jumped to his feet" and re-read those lines, and try to figure out what I've got coming next for these two morons.

Reviews welcome!!! Sorry I made Hwang into such a bloody git, but I'm feeling particularly annoyed at the moment. I blame the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Which explains my using of the words "bloody git". XD


	5. Chapter 5

Hi, guys! Yes, I AM alive, and what better way to prove my state of living to the world (and my fans--heh, heh) then by posting a shiny new UPDATE to one of my more popular stories? :D

Ego trippin' aside, I'm sure you don't remember what happened previously--heck, I hardly do! Who's Hwang?

Kidding there. Seriously, it's been so long since I've played a Soul Calibur game... and I don't have a PS3, so I can't plug in and play the next part of the series, Soul Calibur 4. (Will they ever stop? Seriously, we're not made of money!) I suppose Wikipedia updates (haha) and spoilers scattered throughout the interwebz will be able to help me catch up.

Anyway, I still know enough about the SC world to remember how to copy-paste previously written chapters into text boxes on , and I also remember Yun-seong's got a SMOKIN' hot bod in the new SCIV pics I've seen--too bad he's only artwork :(--but enough of me blabbing on and on and on and on with no end in sight, that's what the end comments are for!

(Does anybody actually read this? Really, if you do, thanks! If you don't, err, the story starts down there, at the word "confused")

I wrote this part a while ago, then my laptop internet card died (err, I stepped on it) so I had to buy a new one. Those stupid things ain't cheap, but I've got a new one (err, I stole it from a--just kidding, I bought it!) so expect updates to start moving at a slow trickle once again. Haha. :)

This is one of my favorite chapters so far, and I'm sure after reading it you'll see why!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Confused was about the only word to describe Hwang at the moment.

_Mina's always bitching how I don't give her enough attention, and when I actually do kiss her, she freaks out!? What the hell's the matter with her?_  
_And why the hell did I just leave those two alone in there!?_

Maybe she was embarassed because I kissed her in front of Yunsung? But why would that bother her?

UNLESS… unless they really ARE having some affair behind my back!! It'd be just like that rotten little stinker Yunsung, pull the wool over Mina's eyes and talk her into doing something she knows is wrong!!

Hwang turned around and sprinted back to Mina's room, but before he could break the door down, his hand froze on the doorknob. Yunsung and Mina were bickering, as usual, but what were they saying…??

"You always find a way to blame me for EVERYTHING, don't you!?" Yunsung was complaining.

"This isn't my fault!! I'm the victim here!!" Mina was whining. "God only KNOWS what you've done to my body!"

"I am AMAZED you can STAND UP STRAIGHT without a spine," Yunsung grumbled.

Hwang was now even more confused than ever.

_What the hell are those two weirdos talking about? Sounds like that moron Yunsung did something to Mina's body, and now she's chewing him out for it… well, it's nice to hear Mina yell at him, put that little rodent in his place—_

"Look, maybe this isn't such a big deal, it'll go away eventually, right?" Yunsung continued.

Hwang's brown eyes widened in horror. _WHAT IN THE GOOD NAME OF THE LORD ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT!? _He pressed his ear against the door.

"IT HAD BETTER!! I'd better not look like this for the rest of my life!!" Mina screamed.

Hwang pulled away from the door, taking a moment to ponder what he heard.

_Blaming Yunsung… Mina being the victim… "look what you've done to my body"… "it'll go away eventually"… "I'd better not look like this for the rest of my life"…_

_There's only one logical solution to what they're talking about…_

_YUNSUNG KNOCKED MINA UP!?_

_And that's why Yunsung was trying to force Mina to kiss him earlier, he's trying to make her go along with his evil, twisted, sex-crazed hormones so this doesn't look like it's all HIS FAULT, that JERK!!  
_

_  
That would explain why Mina freaked out when I kissed her, too!! She feels GUILTY that Yunsung knocked her up and she doesn't want to get me involved, or my feelings to be hurt!!_

_Well, no way in HELL am I gonna sit around while Mina's in this much trouble. I've gotta tell Master Seung,_ Hwang decided, now panicking.

His panic turned to horror. _That rotten little turd Yunsung knocked Mina up, and now he was hoping "it'll go away eventually"? Saying that about his OWN CHILD!? What's he gonna do, feed it to the wolves!? What kind of sicko THINKS like that!?_

In his horror, Hwang turned and ran away, not sure how to act upon this newly obtained information. Beating Yunsung into a pulp and feeding his mutilated living body to hungry sharks sounded like a pleasant option, he knew he couldn't do that to the father of Mina's child.

As _disgusting _as that sounded… Hwang shuddered.

I think I'm gonna take a bath, the war hero thought, running a hand through his spiky brown hair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Alright, since we still have no idea how to go about this, and Hwang didn't believe you when you tried to tell him you were really Yunsung, I guess we should keep acting like each other," Mina groaned.

Yunsung shook his Mina head, looking terrified. "No way! That sicko Hwang's not coming anywhere near me!!"

"For the love of God, Yunsung, he thought you were me, he's not THAT sick," Mina said, rolling her Yunsung eyes.

Yunsung scowled. "If he comes ANYWHERE NEAR ME, he's a DEAD MAN. Got it?"

"Yeah, like the news of Mina suddenly killing Hwang won't be suspicious," Mina rolled her eyes.

"No, not really. You're a loose cannon, they'd believe it. And besides, I don't hear you coming up with any brilliant solutions," Yunsung replied, crossing his Mina arms. His Mina stomach grumbled loudly and he glared up at Mina the Yunsung. "Don't you ever eat? Your stupid stomach won't shut up!!"

Mina stuck her Yunsung tongue out, making a face Yunsung hoped would _never _appear on his face again. "Just because you don't care about staying healthy doesn't mean we all do."

"As USUAL, you're being stupid. I'm as strong as an ox," Yunsung bragged. "How else would I lugged all your crap back home?"

"Because if you didn't, I'd stick Scarlet Thunder up your rotten little—" Mina was interrupted by Yunsung the Mina squealing in fear and flinging himself behind Mina's larger Yunsung body.

"What the hell's gotten into—oh, would you GET OVER YOURSELF!?" Mina grumbled, seeing Hwang walk by, recognizing him to be the source of Yunsung's fear.

Yunsung, who had assumed the fetal position and was rocking back and forth on the floor, shook his head. "He didn't shove his tongue down your throat!!" he whined.

"No," Mina the Yunsung said, "but I wish he WOULD, dammit. All these years we've been together and the one time he decides to tongue me it's when YOU'RE in my body. What's next, is he going to—"

"Make it stop, make it stop!" Yunsung whined, clamping his small Mina hands over his Mina ears.

"Hm? Oh, shut up, you little fairy!" Mina grumbled, prodding Yunsung the Mina with her Yunsung foot. "Get up and quit being a sissy. It's not MY problem you've developed a severe case of Hwangaphobia. I thought you were hungry?"

"I am," Yunsung whimpered.

"I gotta use the bathroom, go on without me," Mina sighed. "And DON'T do ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS!! Got it!?" She emphasized each word with a poke to Yunsung's torso.

"Got it," Yunsung the Mina sighed. "Quit poking me there, it'll look SUSPICIOUS," he added, gesturing to Mina's Yunsung finger jabbed into his Mina upper chest region.

Mina rolled her eyes and withdrew her Yunsung finger, leaving for the bathroom. _If that idiot does anything to make me look bad, I'm going to rip his-- _

She opened the door to the bathroom and let out a gasp.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yunsung the Mina entered the dining room of the dojo, which wasn't really a dining room at all, just a big table with enough seats for everyone at the dojo. As always there was lots of food, and Yunsung helped himself to a healthy amount of siopao.

"Hey, pretty lady," said a young man of the dojo, tapping Yunsung on his Mina shoulder.

For about the thirteenth time, (I'm not sure about you, dear readers, but I sure as hell ain't keeping track) Yunsung forgot he was Mina and turned around to face the arrogant (forgive my Harry Potter speak here) little _git_ who dared to call him a lady.

"Who're you calling a lady!?" Yunsung demanded.

"You, darlin'. Your old man's not around, what say you and I have a little fun?" the guy continued, wiggling his eyebrows.

Yunsung was confused. What's up with all these guys making passes at me? First Hwang, now this?? I really need to get a girlfriend, this is getting pathetic.

"Mina?" the guy asked, probably wondering why Mina hadn't hit him yet.

Yunsung's eyes widened, remembering for the thousandth time he was INSIDE MINA'S BODY, therefore he WASN'T YUNSUNG ANY LONGER. He began to reply, and froze. Exactly what WOULD the real Mina say?

"That's a lot of food there, Mina. Gonna eat all that?" the guy grinned. "For a girl who eats all that food, you sure have a nice figure."

"H-how rude!" Yunsung managed to squeak out, and shoved the guy aside. "Man, is everyone at this dojo hot for Mi- err, meee?"

"Yeah, pretty much," the guy said wistfully. "Thanks for not killing me, Mina, see you." He left, leaving an annoyed Yunsung alone in the dining room.

"First Hwang, now this," Yunsung complained.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mina stared at the sight before her, thinking she died and went to Heaven. Sitting in the steamy, wooden bathtub, with his eyes closed and his entire toned, muscular, upper body exposed, was Hwang, in all his half-naked glory.

In other words, it was everything Mina had ever dreamed of seeing, and judging by the pile of Hwang's clothes lying on the floor, she was starting to think something ELSE she'd always dreamed of was about to come true... heh heh heh...

"Holy CRAP, Hwang," Mina said, and Hwang stirred, his eyes opening and bulging out of his head when he realized he had company.

"GAAH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?" Hwang screamed, diving under the water so only his head was still showing. "GO AWAY!! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK!?"

"Hwang, what's the matter? I thought you _wanted _me to come onto you more!!" Mina protested, taking a step closer. "And now I walk in on you, completely naked? This has gotta be fate, Hwang!"

Hwang was simply staring in shock, his jaw dropped. "Are you feeling OK?" he finally asked. "Last time I checked, we HATED each other!!"

"Oh, HWANG!! That was just a stupid little fight!! You know I love you!!" Mina wailed, sinking to her knees. She thought of a brilliant idea and beamed. "I know. You want me to get naked, don't you?"

"NO!! PLEASE!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! HAVE MERCY!!" Hwang screamed, horrorstruck.

Mina grinned. "ANYTHING but that? Hwang, I never _knew _you were so naughty!"

Hwang blinked for a few seconds, apparently too shocked to think of a reply to that. "Uhh..." was all he could come up with.

"Hwang, you're still mad about earlier, aren't you?" Mina said, taking a step closer to her naked, cowering boyfriend. "Don't be mad... I _promise _to make it up to you..." She giggled again and Hwang couldn't remain quiet any longer.

"Yunsung, I say this because I don't want to give you any false hopes. WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU!?" Hwang finally demanded.

"Huh? What does Yu... oh, SHIT," Mina groaned. She stared at Hwang blankly. "Uh... April Fools?" she offered.

"It's October," Hwang said, still looking revolted.

"Umm... I joined a cult?" Mina suggested.

"I don't want to know," Hwang interrupted. "Go away!"

"But-" Mina protested.

"GET OUT!" Hwang screamed.

"Pfft. You know you want me," Mina scoffed, and managed to leave the room with the remains of Yunsung's shredded, ass-raped-into-oblivion dignity still intact.

Maybe if I'm lucky, Hwang won't tell anybody that Yunsung just cornered him in the bathroom and was trying to rape him, Mina thought, running her thick Yunsung fingers through her Yunsung hair.

_...and while I'm still dreaming, I'd like a pony._ Mina groaned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sure everyone can imagine what's going to happen next... awkward moments? Dramatic tension? Me blabbing endlessly at the start and end of every chapter? YOU GOT IT!!


	6. Chapter 6

Ughhhh what do I say, what do I say… it's been what, three years almost? Soul Calibur just fell totally off my radar, I apologize for abandoning this story too long. If any old readers come back and finish the story, thanks a million and I hope it was worth the wait. To any new readers, hi!

* * *

"EEEEEEP!"

To anyone living in the Seong dojo, the sight of Seong Mi-na carrying Yun-seong over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes would actually be pretty common. Yun-seong was totally pussy-whipped by Mi-na, after all, and the news of their engagement hadn't really surprised anyone.

Of course, for Mi-na (still trapped in Yun-seong's body) and Yun-seong (still trapped in Mi-na's body), the story was much different and much more complicated.

"Yun-seong put me down!" Mi-na shouted, struggling to maintain her balance over Yun-seong's small womanly shoulder.

"You stop thrashing! If I drop you and you mess my face up I'll have another reason to strangle you!"

"You better not be feeling my boobs up!" Mi-na snapped.

Yun-seong rolled his eyes. "It got boring anyway, squeezing tits ain't any fun when they're _mine_—and that's not the damn point, woman! Shut your hole and listen!"

"YOU DON'T GET TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE—"

Yun-seong covered Mi-na's mouth with his hand and continued. "Hyun-ki just had some interesting news for me," he snapped, "apparently _Yun-seong tried to molest Hwang in the bathroom_? You know anything about that, _Yun-seong_?"

Mi-na's eyes grew round. Shit. Word sure travelled fast around here, huh? "Um," she began, "I can explain?"

"YOU HAD DAMN WELL BETTER!"

"All right, all right, stop _yelling_—dammit Yun-seong!" Mi-na groaned, rubbing her temples. "Yun-seong calm the hell down!"

"No! I got a reputation, Mi-na!"

"A reputation for _what_? Virgins Anonymous?"

"You shut up!"

"Look, as soon as we're back in our bodies, I'll tell everyone how straight you are," Mi-na promised, trying not to sound as exasperated as she felt.

"We got caught in the back room fucking?" Yun-seong suggested, a bit too eagerly.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! My father would kill us both!"

"Better that than everyone thinking I'm trying to get in _Hwang's_ pants! And it's not like he doesn't want us to get married anyway!"

"There is nothing wrong with the contents of Hwang's pants!"

"Like you would know, you've never even seen 'em!"

Mi-na sighed and rubbed her forehead. "This is all the more reason why we have to figure out a way to get back into our damn bodies! I don't want to live like this forever and neither do you!"

Yun-seong nodded affirmatively, looking down his top again. "T'be honest, I'd kinda like to get laid as a _dude_," he said, "not, uh, like this!"

"You and me both, pal," Mi-na sighed, "look, just shut up and we'll figure something out!"

"Figure what out? Us playing along sure isn't helping us go back to normal," Yun-seong complained.

"Then maybe there's some stupid ritual we have to do!"

"Like what?" Yun-seong was not a believer in the supernatural, even though he'd spent nearly a year of his life travelling with a girl who could control the wind, and he'd been part of a campaign to find an evil sword with the ability to possess people. Nope, magic was not possible. It was all some trick.

"What about that wind priestess you were talking about earlier?" Mi-na asked, stroking her chin.

Yun-seong's eyes got huge, and Mi-na apparently recognized the look on his face as one she used when she heard something horrifying. "What?"

"No! No no no no no! No Talim! Absolutely not!"

Mi-na looked suspicious for all of five minutes, then she grinned. "What, she your _giiiiiiirlfriend_~?"

"No!" huffed Yun-seong, "but she _tried_—I'd wake up and she'd have her hand in my pants! Or something!"

"You're probably the only teenage boy in the entire world who would have a problem with that," said Mi-na dryly.

"I'm not so desperate I'll hook up with _her_," Yun-seong complained, "she's cute and all but not worth the _stalking_!"

"Well it's either that or we're stuck as each other for the rest of our lives," said Mi-na, grimacing.

"She lives out in the middle of nowhere, how are we supposed to find her?" Yun-seong complained.

"Send a message through the wind!"

"I ain't neither—OUCH!" Mi-na had punched him in the mouth.

"God _dammit_ Mi-na—are you forgetting my fists hit a lot harder than yours do! And it's your own damn face you're fucking up! OW!" Yun-seong scowled, holding his cheek. "God damn you got a wussy face!"

"Worth it," answered Mi-na, blowing on her fist like it was a smoking gun, "now get to it, how do we find this wind priestess girl?"

"We don't have any time!" Yun-seong complained, "my performance is tomorrow and if you fuck this up for me I swear I'm going to strip naked, oil up these tits and run through town!"

"That would be quite a show," Mi-na mused, before remembering Yun-seong was in _her _body—"oh no you won't!"

Yun-seong stuck his fingers under the band of his top. "Try me!"

Mi-na jumped up, fists at the ready, before sighing and holding her hands up in surrender. "Let's not fight, all right? We're all we've got!"

"Right," said Yun-seong with a loud groan, "all right don't tell anyone this, but Talim told me that if I eeeeeeever needed her help—or a blowjob—all I had to do was…"

"What?" Mi-na asked, eyes round, "spill it!"

"All I had to do was…" Yun-seong looked like he'd rather not say whatever it was on his mind.

"SPIT IT OUT, HONG!"

"Fine, fine! All I had to do was _believe_," Yun-seong said with a groan, looking humiliated.

"That's what's so degrading? Pussy," Mi-na accused, "all right, so believe already!"

"All right, but just remember that you're in my body, she's gonna jump you," Yun-seong answered, before scrunching his face up in concentration.

Mi-na had a sudden feeling of dread.

* * *

Holy crap I can't believe I'm updating this story. Unbelievable. Very short chapter, mostly to let people know I'm still alive. The fun stuff comes in the next one :)


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